Remember the 80's? Remember Cock Robin?
After the last post, I thought I was being wayyyy to sexist about feminine hygiene. So here goes the same for you guys:
DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, SHAVE YOUR NETHER REGIONS!
Here is a list of excuses I've been given and reasons why they should not be followed:
1. "IT MAKES MY PENIS LOOK BIGGER AND LONGER"
Yeah, and if you measure it from the top of your ass crack around, it's actually 14 inches long. NOTHING, and I say nothing, will make your penis look larger than it is. No amount of shaving, or artful make-up shading will make it seem bigger.
The only thing that would work is for you to walk with a rather large magnifying glass taped to your dick.
2. "MY GIRLFRIEND LIKES IT SHAVED"
No, no, we don't. You've just been watching way too many porno movies. Those guys shave it so that it looks better under the bright lights of a movie set, so unless you are preparing to have sex on a brightly-lit football field, leave the hair alone.
3. "IT MAKES ME LOOK YOUNGER"
Really, now, you're just being silly. I have a 3 year old son and I'm not walking around telling everyone what a beautiful penis he has! Your penis is ugly, whether hard, flaccid, in the morning, at night, in bright lights or in total darkness. It's just not pretty. At any age. We don't try to guess your age by how low your balls are hanging.
True story, one of my brother's friends actually went into a cosmetic store and asked for anti-aging cream for his scrotum: he thought the wrinkles on his balls made him look older.
4. "IT FEELS BETTER IN MY UNDERWEAR"
That's a lie! I've talked to quite a few guys who say their balls get hot and much sweatier without the thin protection of hair.
In conclusion, you don't have to go to these extremes to make us happy. Just wipe your ass at least twice every time you take a dump and wash your balls at least once every couple of days.
DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, SHAVE YOUR NETHER REGIONS!
Here is a list of excuses I've been given and reasons why they should not be followed:
1. "IT MAKES MY PENIS LOOK BIGGER AND LONGER"
Yeah, and if you measure it from the top of your ass crack around, it's actually 14 inches long. NOTHING, and I say nothing, will make your penis look larger than it is. No amount of shaving, or artful make-up shading will make it seem bigger.
The only thing that would work is for you to walk with a rather large magnifying glass taped to your dick.
2. "MY GIRLFRIEND LIKES IT SHAVED"
No, no, we don't. You've just been watching way too many porno movies. Those guys shave it so that it looks better under the bright lights of a movie set, so unless you are preparing to have sex on a brightly-lit football field, leave the hair alone.
3. "IT MAKES ME LOOK YOUNGER"
Really, now, you're just being silly. I have a 3 year old son and I'm not walking around telling everyone what a beautiful penis he has! Your penis is ugly, whether hard, flaccid, in the morning, at night, in bright lights or in total darkness. It's just not pretty. At any age. We don't try to guess your age by how low your balls are hanging.
True story, one of my brother's friends actually went into a cosmetic store and asked for anti-aging cream for his scrotum: he thought the wrinkles on his balls made him look older.
4. "IT FEELS BETTER IN MY UNDERWEAR"
That's a lie! I've talked to quite a few guys who say their balls get hot and much sweatier without the thin protection of hair.
In conclusion, you don't have to go to these extremes to make us happy. Just wipe your ass at least twice every time you take a dump and wash your balls at least once every couple of days.
posted by Lara at 1:21 AM
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