Monday, November 13, 2006

What do you know, turns out I AM a total bitch.

This fucking telemarketing company has been calling me every day, three times a day, for a week now. They're called "Southnet" something or other. The first time they called, I answered, said "HELLO???" about 4 times, when finally a lady speaking what can only be described as a dialect of Ebonics asked me if I had time to answer a survey about the insurance company I used to have 5 years ago. I politely let her finish the little speech she had prepared (and was reading off of a sheet of paper) and informed her I was not interested and had not dealt with their company in years. She told me "Thank you anyway, have a good evening." How nice. I thought for once that I get one of those irritating calls asking for something or other, she was quite understanding and polite.
Cut to the next day, 8am. The phone rings and when I look at caller ID, it says "Southnet" again. Maybe they misdialed, or it's another one of their representatives calling, not knowing I had already spoken to them the day before. I answer the phone and I swear it's the same Ebonics-speaking moron that asks me if I have time for a survey. Devyn is in front of me, so I want to be as nice as I possibly can. I inform this nice lady once again that I do not use their insurance company, nor have I used it in several years. In her fakest, South Carolina-Georgia accent, she says "Oh, I'm so sorry! I'll take you off the list right away, so you don't get called again. Have a good day."
Every day since, at least two phone calls a day.
Yesterday, 2pm. Phone rings, caller ID says "Southnet". This time I am prepared. David is out with Devyn and I can let the beast come out.
I answer "Hello?" (total silence). "Helloooo?" (I can hear someone breathing on the other end). "Hellooo? I know you're there!"
-"I need to speak to Mrs. Hyde."
-"Do you mean Mrs. Hyatt?"
-"Yes, Mrs. Hyatt. Is this Mrs. Hyatt?"
The accent. The pronunciation. The Ebonics. It's the same douchebag from the other day.
-"Yes, this is Mrs. Hyatt, but I could swear I told you the other day I was not interested in doing your survey. Did I stutter? Was I talking to myself when I told you I don't use your insurance company anymore?"
-"Well you don't have to be so rude, ma'am. I was calling to offer you a deal to join our company once again at a huge discount, but if you're going to be so vile and crude, the deal is off."
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS BITCH????
"Listen, you fucktard. You've called here everyday for a week, I see it on my caller ID. I know it's you everytime, because your fucking Southern fuck accent betrays you. You can take your deal and shove it up your ass! If you ever call here again, I will track you and your company down and sue your asses for harassment! Did you hear me okay this time, or do you need to clean the shit out of your ears?"
-"Well, fine then. We will permanently take you off our client list and put you on our DO NOT CALL LIST. Have a good day."
-"Go fuck yourself."
Was I wrong? A tad too rude maybe?

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