Musings

Damn, feels like Satan is shoving a hot poker in my pee hole! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am passing yet another kidney stone. This will officially be #6. Still don't have a name for this one... First one was Rocky, second was Stoney, third was Pebble, fourth and fifth were twins named Stone Phillips and Rock Hudson. It's been three days of pure hell waiting for this (or these) damn thing to flush out of my kidneys into my bladder. I refuse to go to the emergency room, it is a complete and total waste of time and money. Last February, I waited in the emergency room from 8pm until 1am, when they finally took some x-rays and told me I had just passed not one, but two kidney stones the size of a pencil eraser. Really? No shit! I hadn't felt anything! I had just been writhing in pain in the waiting room for the last 5 hours, howling and cursing up a storm...I'm sure no one else minded me screaming "FUCK! FUCK ME! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! PLEASE GOD, FUCKING MAKE IT GO AWAY!" for five continuous hours. They ended up giving me some pain meds (only about 6 hours too late assholes!) and sending me home at 3am. Keep in mind I drove myself to the emergency room (Dave was in Colorado, I was in Phoenix) and drove myself home in a drug induced haze. Miracle I didn't kill myself or someone else.
Pray for me, you bastards.

You know what I hate? Extra words. For instance, "He died in a fatal car accident." No shit, Sherlock. Or as I heard last night: "Coming up next: the story of a woman who was viciously raped." Really? Viciously raped? Is there any other way to get raped? Does anyone ever report a rape and tell the cops, "It was sort of awesome! He raped me, but oh so gently!" Or does anyone at a rape support group stand up and say, "Oh, he caressed my cheek and told me I was pretty before he forced his penis inside me. He was very nice." Fucking idiots.

Highway robbery. What the fuck is that? When is the last recorded robbery to take place on a highway? What the fuck are you talking about? You know how hard it is to rob someone on a highway? Let's say you pull up alongside someone doing 60, pull out a shotgun and shoot them in the face. Forget about how hard that is by itself. That car is going to flip amazingly out of control. It could land anywhere. And if that person shit themselves, it's going to make it a real disgusting mess when you have to reach into his back pocket for a wallet.

Shorts with boots. Winter capri pants worn with boots. Pants tucked into boots. Jeans three sizes too long with boots. This shit needs to stop, ladies. It's ugly, retarded and so fucking stupid.

If "con" is the opposite of "pro", then wouldn't "Congress" be the opposite of "Progress"? Or did I just blow your fucking mind?

Back to skipping stones.