Ass-holay Mio!

Wonderful news: just found out I need to have a colonoscopy in a couple of weeks. It's about time! I missed my regular ass-rapings. Not that I'm counting or anything, but I think this will be the 3rd or 4th time my colon is going to be a movie star. I've already started preparing: I've gone on a diet so I can lose those last 10lbs, I'm thinking of getting a nice all-over spray tan(including, of course, my bunghole), maybe even a tattoo or a nice piercing, to really distinguish myself from the hundreds of other assholes my doctor has seen. I also want to have the cleanest orifice ever, so that it looks younger on camera. Now all that's left is convincing my doctor to use a filter on the camera, to give my colon a "softer" look.
I'm ready for my close-up, Dr. DeMille...