Blondes don't have more fun

That's it, I've finally done it. For those of you who haven't seen me in a while, I had the bright idea of going blond about 6 months ago. I swear the chemicals and bleach burned a few brain cells, 'cause I had the distinct feeling I was becoming more and more of an idiot as the months passed. Whoever said "blondes have more fun" is a fucking retard. First of all, the process literally fried my hair. The hairdresser had to strip all the color off first ( I was a kinda natural brownie-redhead), then when my hair was the shade of a cold glass of light beer, reapply an ash blond color all over and finally streak my hair with almost platinum highlights. I have to admit I liked it at first, made me look younger and hotter...Until I got home, dropped my pants and realized the curtains didn't match the rug. At all. Not even close. And I wasn't about to apply all those chemicals on my furry friend. The hair started growing out, leaving a halo at the roots, of what can only be described as the blackest hair I'd ever seen (peppered with quite a few strands of white). I looked freakish, bordering on white trash. Short of spending another $100 to have the bleaching process done, I opted instead to coloring my hair back to my natural light brown shade.
It's like an awakening, for the first time in months, I actually feel like myself. When I look in the mirror, I don't see a stranger staring back. The tops match the tail. And I swear my IQ just went back up a couple of notches. There is no way all those fucking idiots in Hollywood (Paris,Jessica Simpson, Britney, etc.) are natural blondes. I think every time they get their hair done, they're probably laying in a bed, stark naked, while some big Russian lesbian is lathering their privates with bleach.