(Fucked-up)News from around the world.
(P.S.: Yeah, Xa, stole this post from you. Just proves how much I admire you. Plus, I don't have an original idea in my mind)
1. From the cover of "DUH!" Magazine:
WILLIE NELSON CITED FOR MARIJUANA AND MUSHROOM POSSESSION - Really? Who would've thunk it! "When the door of the bus was opened, the trooper smelled the strong odor of marijuana." What did he think he was going to smell, roses? IT'S WILLIE NELSON, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
2. FISHER PRICE UNVEILS NEW "TMX ELMO" - for a second, I thought it said "DMX ELMO". I mean, the similarities are uncanny. DMX's real name is Earl = Elmo. I wonder if this new doll comes with its own supply of crack, a 9 mil, and 15 pit bulls. And if it sings "Party Up (Up in Here)" when you tickle him. Tried to look up a picture, unfortunately Fisher Price only shows TMX ELMO hidden in the shadows... I think I can make out the outline of a crack pipe, though... Coming soon: "CRACK HO PRAIRIE DAWN".
3. COLOMBIANS RIVETED BY NEW CALL-GIRL SOAP OPERA - it's called "Sin Tetas no hay Paraiso": "Without Boobs There's no Paradise".
THOSE COLOMBIAN BASTARDS STOLE MY LIFE STORY!!! - then I realized it's about a flat-chested prostitute on the streets of Bogota, trying to make a better life for herself. At least, they stole the "prostitute" part from my life.
4. BEER CELEBRATES 10TH ANNIVERSARY - "Founder Jeremy Cowan said he started out his business a decade ago with the idea of making a beer aimed at the Jewish community. He named it "He'Brew". - needs no explanation.
5. PENIS TRANSPLANT REPORTED IN CHINA - "Chinese doctors say they successfully transplanted a penis on a man who lost his own in an accident, but had to remove it two weeks later because of psychological problems experienced by the man and his wife." - First of all, what kind of accident causes you to lose your penis? Any suggestions?
"The couple requested the organ be removed because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis." - did they transplant his penis with a black man's? "Swollen"? Had she never seen her hubby's penis erect? Exactly how small was his original penis, that would cause such a reaction?
Anyone remember that song "DETACHABLE PENIS"?
This story just freaks me out. What's he going to do now, wait until some other guy dies and decides to donate his penis, hoping it's a better size match for his wife?
1. From the cover of "DUH!" Magazine:
WILLIE NELSON CITED FOR MARIJUANA AND MUSHROOM POSSESSION - Really? Who would've thunk it! "When the door of the bus was opened, the trooper smelled the strong odor of marijuana." What did he think he was going to smell, roses? IT'S WILLIE NELSON, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
2. FISHER PRICE UNVEILS NEW "TMX ELMO" - for a second, I thought it said "DMX ELMO". I mean, the similarities are uncanny. DMX's real name is Earl = Elmo. I wonder if this new doll comes with its own supply of crack, a 9 mil, and 15 pit bulls. And if it sings "Party Up (Up in Here)" when you tickle him. Tried to look up a picture, unfortunately Fisher Price only shows TMX ELMO hidden in the shadows... I think I can make out the outline of a crack pipe, though... Coming soon: "CRACK HO PRAIRIE DAWN".
3. COLOMBIANS RIVETED BY NEW CALL-GIRL SOAP OPERA - it's called "Sin Tetas no hay Paraiso": "Without Boobs There's no Paradise".
THOSE COLOMBIAN BASTARDS STOLE MY LIFE STORY!!! - then I realized it's about a flat-chested prostitute on the streets of Bogota, trying to make a better life for herself. At least, they stole the "prostitute" part from my life.
4. BEER CELEBRATES 10TH ANNIVERSARY - "Founder Jeremy Cowan said he started out his business a decade ago with the idea of making a beer aimed at the Jewish community. He named it "He'Brew". - needs no explanation.
5. PENIS TRANSPLANT REPORTED IN CHINA - "Chinese doctors say they successfully transplanted a penis on a man who lost his own in an accident, but had to remove it two weeks later because of psychological problems experienced by the man and his wife." - First of all, what kind of accident causes you to lose your penis? Any suggestions?
"The couple requested the organ be removed because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis." - did they transplant his penis with a black man's? "Swollen"? Had she never seen her hubby's penis erect? Exactly how small was his original penis, that would cause such a reaction?
Anyone remember that song "DETACHABLE PENIS"?
This story just freaks me out. What's he going to do now, wait until some other guy dies and decides to donate his penis, hoping it's a better size match for his wife?
posted by Lara at 12:56 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home