Take Foot: Insert in Mouth.
My friend Buck just sent me an e-mail with some perfect examples of why most people (including me) should think before they speak.
1. "I walked into a hair salon with my husband and kids and asked loudly: "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked right out."
2. "I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by a really good-looking salesman. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. "My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied "No, thank you, I'm just looking at your nuts."
4. "While in line at the bank, my toddler lost control and began running around. I was finally able to grab hold of her and threatened her that if she did not start behaving she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening: "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" I walked out out of the bank and the last thing I heard were screams of laughter."
5. "My 3 year old had problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day, we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch. While sitting there, I smelled something funny and realized my son had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go and he said no. I started getting really worried, because I didn't have any clothes to change him and asked him again, "Are you sure you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So I asked him one more time "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" Then he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down."
6. THIS ONE ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME
"I was waiting in line at the deli department in a grocery store, with my son sitting in the cart. With approximately 20 people around us, he grabbed my breasts real hard and screamed "LOOK, BOOBIES! BIG, MOMMY BOOBIES!" The guys in line really appreciated this outburst."
Feel free to contribute any embarrassing moments.
1. "I walked into a hair salon with my husband and kids and asked loudly: "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked right out."
2. "I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by a really good-looking salesman. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. "My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied "No, thank you, I'm just looking at your nuts."
4. "While in line at the bank, my toddler lost control and began running around. I was finally able to grab hold of her and threatened her that if she did not start behaving she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening: "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" I walked out out of the bank and the last thing I heard were screams of laughter."
5. "My 3 year old had problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day, we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch. While sitting there, I smelled something funny and realized my son had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go and he said no. I started getting really worried, because I didn't have any clothes to change him and asked him again, "Are you sure you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So I asked him one more time "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" Then he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down."
6. THIS ONE ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME
"I was waiting in line at the deli department in a grocery store, with my son sitting in the cart. With approximately 20 people around us, he grabbed my breasts real hard and screamed "LOOK, BOOBIES! BIG, MOMMY BOOBIES!" The guys in line really appreciated this outburst."
Feel free to contribute any embarrassing moments.
posted by Lara at 11:15 AM
10 Comments:
j'en ai une mais elle va dans l'autre sens...
quand Loïse avait à peu près deux ans ça nous arrivait souvent de faire la douche ou le bain ensemble, et donc elle avait régulièrement l'occasion de voir ma bite, et à cette époque ça devait être la seule qu'elle ait vue, d'ailleurs (ou du moins j'espère)
à un carrefour de Martigny, il y a une sculpture de Minotaure, très jolie, un corps d'homme avec une tête de taureau, nu, et dont la pine doit avoisiner les 35cm.
un jour en passant à ce fameux carrefour, en voiture et en famille, Loïse regarde la sculpture, se tourne vers sa mère et lui dit:" hey regarde maman, le monsieur avec le petit zizi!"
j'étais rien fier
Just because instead of 35cm, yours is 36cm, is nothing to be proud of. Now if you tell me it's solid steel or gold plated, I'll be really impressed.
c'est 35 cm au repos
ils allaient quand même pas mettre une sculpture en plein centre ville d'un taureau qui bande comme un âne?!?
à part ça cette magnifique pine (celle de la sculpture) semble tellement solide que je m'en servirais volontiers pour défoncer la vitrine du bijoutier d'à côté
Ca correspond exactement a combien de inches, 35cm? C'est juste pour voir... Attends, je viens de relire. C'est la tienne qui est 35cm au repos, ou celle de la sculpture? J'ai besoin d'une preuve photographique.
mais je parle pas de la mienne!!!
la mienne c'est juste une partie du puzzle! si l'autre pièce ne correspond pas, la taille n'aura rien a voir, ça marchera pas de toutes façons!
je dis juste que Loïse, sur le moment, a eu l'impression que la mienne était plus grande que celle de ce con de Minotaure.
ça flatte mon gros ego de mâle
I think your daughter needs glasses. With big, thick lenses. I hope she won't be too disappointed with her first boyfriend.
bon je te rappelle quand même que 30cm, ça fait à peu près la taille d'un litre de vin, ou le diamètre d'un vieux LP (tu sais, ces choses noires qu'il y avait avant les CD). je sais pas ce que ça fait en inches... ça me paraît déjà assez volumineux. et même sur BlacksOnBlondes ces braves gars n'en ont pas des si longues.
mais, comme tu l'as déjà dit, tout dépend depuis quel endroit tu mesures.
et pour la photo je vais voir ce que je peux faire
You are un gros salopard. Thank God you didn't take a picture of your ass instead, but I bet it would have looked pretty much similar.
Seriously, take that @#$%& picture off!
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