The Tao of Timberlake
I believe very strongly in giving credit where credit is due. And the fact is, we all owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to Justing Timberlake. Justin's new single "SexyBack", for those of you who haven't had the hankering for ear punishment, is one of the worst songs to come out this year (only slightly ahead of Fergie's "London Bridge"). In it, Mr. Timberlake boasts "I'm bringing sexy back." Who else brought sexy back? Or sexyback, for that matter. Apparently sexy went missing, and no one but Justin was able to bring it back. That's right. Were it not for Justin, all of us would have remained sexyless, many of us without even knowing it.
So what if the song is a mess of muffled, distorted vocals, lack of melody, inane and repetitive lyrics and a beat ripped off from ex-girlfriend Britney's "I'm A Slave 4U"? THE MAN BROUGHT SEXY BACK! Singlehandedly. Sure Jonas Salk invented the vaccine for polio, the Wright Brothers discovered flight and Ronald Reagan popularized jelly beans, but were any of them able or willing to bring sexyback? No! Did any of them even attempt to bring sexy back?
Now Justin will not only be known as one of the participants of Nipplegate 2004, a member of a pop-bubblegum boy band and Britney's ex, but he will now be known forever as the man who, in an act of pure selflessness, with no concern for quality of music, brought sexy back for us all.
How can any of us measure with Justin? He has done more for humanity than anyone in history. Can you imagine being at a party with Mr. Timberlake now?
Justin: So what did you bring to the party?
Me: I brought some potato salad and some chips. What about you?
Justin: Oh, I brought sexy back.
Me: You did??? Where did it go?
Justin: I don't quite know, but I brought it back.
Me: (looking down at my potato salad, disgustedly) Wow. You brought back something exciting and extinct.
Justin: Nice potato salad.
Next, I'm hoping Justin is willing to work his magic again and bring back some other extinct things:
the Dodo Bird
Dinosaurs
Saber-tooth tigers
Receding hairlines
I mean, if not Justin, who else would have the power? After all, he did bring sexy back.
So what if the song is a mess of muffled, distorted vocals, lack of melody, inane and repetitive lyrics and a beat ripped off from ex-girlfriend Britney's "I'm A Slave 4U"? THE MAN BROUGHT SEXY BACK! Singlehandedly. Sure Jonas Salk invented the vaccine for polio, the Wright Brothers discovered flight and Ronald Reagan popularized jelly beans, but were any of them able or willing to bring sexyback? No! Did any of them even attempt to bring sexy back?
Now Justin will not only be known as one of the participants of Nipplegate 2004, a member of a pop-bubblegum boy band and Britney's ex, but he will now be known forever as the man who, in an act of pure selflessness, with no concern for quality of music, brought sexy back for us all.
How can any of us measure with Justin? He has done more for humanity than anyone in history. Can you imagine being at a party with Mr. Timberlake now?
Justin: So what did you bring to the party?
Me: I brought some potato salad and some chips. What about you?
Justin: Oh, I brought sexy back.
Me: You did??? Where did it go?
Justin: I don't quite know, but I brought it back.
Me: (looking down at my potato salad, disgustedly) Wow. You brought back something exciting and extinct.
Justin: Nice potato salad.
Next, I'm hoping Justin is willing to work his magic again and bring back some other extinct things:
the Dodo Bird
Dinosaurs
Saber-tooth tigers
Receding hairlines
I mean, if not Justin, who else would have the power? After all, he did bring sexy back.
posted by Lara at 8:16 AM
5 Comments:
ow, je viens juste d'attraper un sexyback, mais heureusement j'ai été chez le docteur et il m'a donné des médicaments... j'espère que ça va pas durer trop longtemps, parce que c'est vraiment pénible, le sexyback, ça me fait mal là, là et là (voir illustration)
ouch
(comme disent les américains)
Where exactly does it hurt? Can I massage it for you?
I feel bad for you...I have a sexyfront, so I know how painful they are. Just lie in bed for a couple of days without moving, it should get better.
merci, Dr Lara, ça va déjà mieux
Post a Comment
<< Home