Vomit, Puke and Regurgitation.

Forgot to tell you about the most exciting part of my day. Little dude woke me up at 4:00am, complaining he was "all wet" and needed me to change him. I don't know how in the hell he was sleeping, but all the piss on the bed was concentrated on his pillow and the top sheet. There's nothing like the fresh smell of piss in the middle of the night. Gag. I changed his diaper, his pajamas and the sheets, then tried to lull him back to sleep. Forty five seconds into the second verse of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", he projectile vomits all over me. Just stomach acid, water and saliva, but nevertheless a good amount.
I get him up, take off his pajamas again, change all the vomit covered sheets, try to put him back to sleep, but he insists "it's morning" and "I want to see my puppies". Great. So I'm up again before 5 am.
We go to the living room and turn on the T.V., then for the next 5 hours, he pukes intermittently every 10 minutes or so. David can't even be in the same room, he tells me he now feels sick and has to throw up, goes back upstairs to lie down.
After what seems like the longest and grossest 5 hours of my life, little dude drinks a huge glass of water, asks for food, and sits down to play with his cars. As fast as the puking started, it's gone. He eats a whole bag of crackers, two slices of bread and two slices of pizza that night.
I'm so exhausted I can barely wipe myself after peeing.
The joys of motherhood.
May all your joy be pure joy and all your pain, champagne.