Frank Sinatra is turning over in his grave...
Las Vegas: Sin City.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Vegas: Come with a money bag, leave in a body bag.
and now:
Las Vegas: Don't shit where you sleep.
Why is it the goddamn politicians always have to ruin it for everyone? I mean, really, who hasn't gone to Vegas, lost a ton of money, gotten shit-faced and then taken a huge crap right on the sidewalk? Fuck public restrooms, sometimes when you have to go, you have to go. Now these bastard city officials dare to tell me where I can or can't take a shit???
"Las Vegas Passes Public Defecation Law"
"Las Vegas - City officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces.
The new ordinance makes it illegal to "knowingly establish" sleeping quarters near defecation unless that "deposit" is made in an appropriate sanitary facility. It was passed unanimously by the Las Vegas City Council as a part of a bill making it a misdemeanor to go to the bathroom in public."
-Gentlemen, stick your dick back in your pants and zip up. No urinating in Las Vegas streets.
"City Attorney Brad Jerbic says the council will consider a revised version of the ordinance that shortens the distance between sleeper and deposit."
-If you must take a shit or piss, make sure to carry a measuring tape with you.
"An ordinance making it illegal to feed homeless people in parks passed July 19th and a lawsuit was filed shortly after by the ACLU saying the ordinance violates civil rights."
-Don't feed the homeless, they might bite...giving you an excuse to sue the city for assault. If you feel you must feed them, do so at your own risk. Also, don't give them any foods high in fiber or any dairy products, as this will create loose bowels and increase the amount of daily "deposits", making it hard for them to establish a "safe" distance between their "sleeping cardboard box" and their "defecation cardboard box."
THIS IS A TRUE, FACTUAL STORY TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM ASSOCIATED PRESS.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Vegas: Come with a money bag, leave in a body bag.
and now:
Las Vegas: Don't shit where you sleep.
Why is it the goddamn politicians always have to ruin it for everyone? I mean, really, who hasn't gone to Vegas, lost a ton of money, gotten shit-faced and then taken a huge crap right on the sidewalk? Fuck public restrooms, sometimes when you have to go, you have to go. Now these bastard city officials dare to tell me where I can or can't take a shit???
"Las Vegas Passes Public Defecation Law"
"Las Vegas - City officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces.
The new ordinance makes it illegal to "knowingly establish" sleeping quarters near defecation unless that "deposit" is made in an appropriate sanitary facility. It was passed unanimously by the Las Vegas City Council as a part of a bill making it a misdemeanor to go to the bathroom in public."
-Gentlemen, stick your dick back in your pants and zip up. No urinating in Las Vegas streets.
"City Attorney Brad Jerbic says the council will consider a revised version of the ordinance that shortens the distance between sleeper and deposit."
-If you must take a shit or piss, make sure to carry a measuring tape with you.
"An ordinance making it illegal to feed homeless people in parks passed July 19th and a lawsuit was filed shortly after by the ACLU saying the ordinance violates civil rights."
-Don't feed the homeless, they might bite...giving you an excuse to sue the city for assault. If you feel you must feed them, do so at your own risk. Also, don't give them any foods high in fiber or any dairy products, as this will create loose bowels and increase the amount of daily "deposits", making it hard for them to establish a "safe" distance between their "sleeping cardboard box" and their "defecation cardboard box."
THIS IS A TRUE, FACTUAL STORY TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM ASSOCIATED PRESS.
posted by Lara at 3:34 PM
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