Yooo-Hooo....and a bottle of rum!
I don't know if I should be more shocked by the fact that Mel Gibson is an alcoholic or the fact he is racist. Since I can't really identify with the latter, I'll concentrate on the liquor consumption.
"May he who has never touched the stuff, cast the first stone!"
Here is a list of some of my favorite concoctions:
Mojito
Cosmopolitan
Long Island Ice Tea
Screwdriver
Greyhound
Straight Vodka
Straight Gin
Straight Rum
Light Beer
Dark Beer
White Wine
Blush
and finally, the most important one,
Red Wine
Here's a list of the things I've done and said under the influence of one or more of the previous list:
1. got really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Tried to cross the border back into the US while still drunk of my ass, when border patrol agent asked me what my nationality was, answered (complete with accent) "I am Russian! Russki! I am here to take over this country one vodka shot at a time!" Was held in immigration office for 5 hours, until I sobered up.
2. got really, really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Did about 10 tequila and Sprite shooters, followed by a bucket of Corona beer, then took off my top and walked around in my bra.
3. tried not to get really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Ran into some friends who were going to a really seedy bar, decided to accompany them. 3 buckets of Corona and 2 Long Island Ice Teas later, saw the most hilarious yet disturbing donkey show and a woman inserting oranges into her hole and smoking a cigarette through said hole. Laughed until I puked.
4. got really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Did about 10 shots of tequila at Fred's Rainbow Bar, ate an avocado and cheese sandwich, had a couple of more shots, then screamed "I love all you burrito-eating motherfuckers!" and promptly vomited all over the bar owner.
What does this have to do with Mel Gibson, you say? Let's see....
1. I am not Russian, even though I claimed to be while drunk
2. I am not an exhibitionist
3. I am not depraved and insane
and most importantly:
4. I AM NOT A RACIST!!
What we do or say while virtually soaking in an alcohol bath should not be taken seriously.
Even though I think it's fucking hilarious that he called one of the women officers "sugar tits".
"May he who has never touched the stuff, cast the first stone!"
Here is a list of some of my favorite concoctions:
Mojito
Cosmopolitan
Long Island Ice Tea
Screwdriver
Greyhound
Straight Vodka
Straight Gin
Straight Rum
Light Beer
Dark Beer
White Wine
Blush
and finally, the most important one,
Red Wine
Here's a list of the things I've done and said under the influence of one or more of the previous list:
1. got really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Tried to cross the border back into the US while still drunk of my ass, when border patrol agent asked me what my nationality was, answered (complete with accent) "I am Russian! Russki! I am here to take over this country one vodka shot at a time!" Was held in immigration office for 5 hours, until I sobered up.
2. got really, really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Did about 10 tequila and Sprite shooters, followed by a bucket of Corona beer, then took off my top and walked around in my bra.
3. tried not to get really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Ran into some friends who were going to a really seedy bar, decided to accompany them. 3 buckets of Corona and 2 Long Island Ice Teas later, saw the most hilarious yet disturbing donkey show and a woman inserting oranges into her hole and smoking a cigarette through said hole. Laughed until I puked.
4. got really plastered in Juarez, Mexico. Did about 10 shots of tequila at Fred's Rainbow Bar, ate an avocado and cheese sandwich, had a couple of more shots, then screamed "I love all you burrito-eating motherfuckers!" and promptly vomited all over the bar owner.
What does this have to do with Mel Gibson, you say? Let's see....
1. I am not Russian, even though I claimed to be while drunk
2. I am not an exhibitionist
3. I am not depraved and insane
and most importantly:
4. I AM NOT A RACIST!!
What we do or say while virtually soaking in an alcohol bath should not be taken seriously.
Even though I think it's fucking hilarious that he called one of the women officers "sugar tits".
posted by Lara at 10:52 AM
2 Comments:
where was I when you were walking around in your bra?!?!?!
shame on you for throwing up on everybody's favorite albino, Fred.
You must have been drunk yourself and not noticed... Fred didn't mind, it happened to him all the time.
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