Things I learned from HBO

I couldn't get to sleep last night, so as a last resort, to bore myself into a coma, I turned on the TV and watched "The Aristocrats" on HBO. If you haven't seen it, or haven't heard of it, get in your car and go rent it right now.
It will be the greatest lesson you'll ever learn, simply an awakening of the senses, kind of like a rebirth. There are things you can learn from this movie that you cannot learn from any book, not even the dictionary.
Here are a few new words I learned:

DIRTY SANCHEZ
RUSTY TROMBONE
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

I was craving more. It was as if Plato, Aristotle, Ghandi and Einstein were living together, had placed an ad in the paper for a 5th roommate and had chosen me to share their digs. I wanted to know everything.
It took me a total of .34 seconds to do a google search and find "www.urbandictionary.com". As soon as I entered the website, angels started singing, the heavens opened up and a golden shower caressed my face. (More on the golden shower later).
Basically, you can now combine any two words that have absolutely nothing to do with each other and come up with a definition for some absolutely, disgustingly vile sex act. Seriously, try it. If you don't believe me, here are some examples:

CINCINNATI BOWTIE
CLEVELAND STEAMER
HOT CARL
ANGRY DRAGON
MUSHROOM STAMP
CINNAMON ROLL
DONKEY PUNCH
ABE LINCOLN

I also found out about golden showers, and that DIRTY SANCHEZ also has a few cousins, named DIRTY RAMIREZ, DIRTY RODRIGUEZ and DIRTY SANTOS.
The website is updated hourly and now boasts thousands upon thousands of definitions.
There are definitely a lot of scholarship-holding college students out there with way too much time on their hands and a really sick lifestyle.